The note

I remember the night when I wanted to ask you to be my girl. We were in KLCC, I was expecting to fail. I wasn't really happy with how things are going. But I gathered my courage, and after dinner at the food court, I ask you out for a walk in the park. It was a beautiful night, we strolled, talked about stuffs, and ended up on that bridge, overlooking the twin towers. It was magical, the best thing that has happened to me. I held your hand, and you didn't let go. I knew this is something good.

Our first trip was Christmas. It was our first month anniversary. We went out with your friends. You dragged me up the roller coaster. It was my first time, I was scared. You were beside me. We had so much fun. At night, we went for Christmas countdown in first world hotel. I held you close, as the clock strike midnight. We didn't manage to get a room, so we slept outside in the lobby. You were lying on my lap, and I was snoozing off, and drooled on you, which was pretty hilarious.

First New Year together. I told you I didn't like crowds. We bought KFC over at KL Sentral and went back to my place for candlelight dinner. We held hands as we slept. Well, I wasn't sleeping, because I was happy.

We had our ups and downs, highs and lows. I remember our first time being apart for so long. You had 3 months break, and I was in KL for my semester. We managed to get through it.

I also remember the day you made me cry. It was an april fools prank. You said I always fool you, and you finally got me.

I had issues with you going to clubs, pursuing modelling. We argued, but I never stopped you. It was because I know at the end of the day, you will still be here in my arms.

Time pass so fast. 1 year became 2, 2 years became 3 and then came 4. I went to the UK to further my studies. It was tough being away from you. Before I left, you gave me a present. Something that I will make me remember you. It was pictures that you took, with a T-Shirt that says I love Noel. In my mind, I just wanted to hold you tight and never let go.

During my time in the UK, we skype a lot. I got a simcard that can call you cheap, and we talked on the phone. Due to time difference, I can only talk to you early in the morning or in the evening. I missed you a lot during that period.

Then you told me you got into SIA. I was happy for you, but deep down, I know it wasn't a good idea. Still, I didn't wanted to stop you from doing something that you love. So I supported you, because it was the right thing to do.

You left for Singapore while I was still in the UK. I was worried you would be alone there, but you made new friends. You learnt to be independent. You were ok without me. I was proud of you, but it made me afraid as well. I was afraid that you would just cast me aside.

During my days in Europe, I was always trying to find a way to get to you. I remember when I was in Italy, I panicked because I couldn't call you. I reloaded my prepaid card and when I finally got you, I felt relieved. Although it cost me 10 pounds for that few minutes, It was worth every penny.

I came back during October, and I still didn't get to see you, because you were in Singapore. You decided to come back to Penang. It has been 5 months since we last saw each other. When we finally saw each other in the airport, I hugged you, you were in my arms again. You said you felt funny at first because we did not see each other for so long.

You started your first flight as a trainee. Flight to India, as I remembered. You were nervous, but I calmed you down. I believed in you and you did do a great job. It was uphill from then. You enjoyed your job, getting to travel. You complained about the difficulties, but I didn't mind. I listened because I know you just want someone to be there.

I then got my first job. We were so excited when I got the call from Intel. You supported me all the way through everything I do. You tried to come back once a month to see me. We put in a lot of effort to make this work.

Convocation day, the day that I will never forget. A girl came out of the blue, dressed in white. Surprised the hell out of me. She's the one, I told myself. I was so happy that you came. I just kept smiling for the whole day.

and then, I fucked up. I fucked up the best thing I ever had. I don't know what got into me. I made the biggest mistake I can ever make. I let you go. I was so cruel towards you. I didn't gave us a chance. Maybe we were apart for too long, I was weak. We were going strong. But we had so many changes, I moved to a new house, started a new job, I just got caught in all the changes and I lost my head. Everything happened so fast, and I am starting to realize it only now. I am the biggest idiot. I hurt you bad. I just rip out your heart and threw all our effort down the drain.

And now, all I'm left with is a broken heart. Finally realizing what I have done, its slowly killing me. If only I was stronger. If only I listened to you. We would be happy but It's all gone.

You said you move on, I'm just starting to pick up the pieces. My friend's advised me to move on. Why should I care for someone that doesn't care for me anymore. Maybe you are thinking the same way, because I left you stranded in the dark.

But deep down I know, I will never let you go. Even if it takes 2, 3 or 4 years, I'll just have to be patient. Even I know all you have is hatred for me, even though the chances are slim, I will always be here. I'll be the man who can't be move.

I really hope you can give me a chance to start over. I pray to god. I pray for a miracle.